Hammin' it up!

I encountered a few delays while attempting to make this post. First, my compact flash card for my DSLR took a dump on me. I made the most awesome sandwich, took photos & everything, only to have the memory card fail me. Needless to say, I ate the sandwich and said "fuck it!" I figured I'd have to recreate that sandwich and start all over again. Not complaining about that.

Then I got all busy planning a vegan pop up dinner. That went over well, I did a soul food dinner with tempeh hot wings, mac n cheez, black eyed peas with ham, braised garlicky kale, fresh baked corn bread, and oatmeal apple betty with homemade vanilla bean coconut ice cream. Whew! but of course no pictures, so I guess it didn't happen. :( Womp womp! Now I'm all stuffy with a head cold.

Shaddup, Denise.

Let's get on with it. Vegan ham. Pretty versatile stuff. Good grilled or stewed up with black eyed peas and kale. I've mostly used it for breakfast-y stuff like this here tofu benedict.

The benny is comprised of grilled french bread, vegan ham, seasoned slices of tofu, tomato and kale, then topped with warm vegan hollendaise. I'd give you a recipe for the hollendaise, but then I'd have to kill you. Don't worry, it's mostly silken tofu, FYH's Vegenaise, nooch & spices. You'll figure it out eventually! 

Another fun breakfast item I've had the chance to recreate is my ex-favorite sammy from Denny's. Yeah, it's really shitty chain dining, but back in the day it filled the void after a late night of drinking. That was a long time ago, and I hope I never have to eat there again. Even if they serve Amy's vegan burgers. Here's vegan Moons Over My Hammy. I think I like it mostly for the name. 

This is basically tofu eggs with vegan ham and vegan cheese. I used a nice, seeded multi-grain bread and grilled it with a little Earth Balance. Then I sliced up some firm tofu and coated it in nooch with a little garlic & onion powder, black salt & pepper, then fried it on a hot griddle. I also grilled up the ham and then layered it all on the bread with Daiya pepperjack cheese. Any kind of vegan cheese will do. I believe the real thing has Swiss & American cheese, but we don't want any of that. 

All right now, go make this for yourself! 

Vegan Ham

2 1/4 cups Vital Wheat Gluten 

1/2 package Mori-Nu Firm Silken Tofu

1/2 15 oz can Canellini Beans, rinsed and drained

1 cup water

1 "No Beef" bouillon cube (or equivalent no beef powder)

2 tablespoons vegan brown sugar

2 tablespoons canola or vegetable oil

1 tablespoon tomato paste

1 tablespoon nutritional yeast

1 tablespoon hickory smoke/liquid smoke

2 teaspoons onion powder

2 teaspoons garlic powder

1 teaspoon sea salt

1 teaspoon paprika

several grinds of black pepper

splash of tamari or soy sauce

tamari for basting

Method

Set oven to preheat at 350 degrees F.

In a food processor, puree silken tofu, beans, bouillon, brown sugar, oil, tomato paste, tamari, liquid smoke, water and nutritional yeast. Mix until smooth. In a large bowl mix vital wheat gluten with onion powder, garlic powder, salt, paprika, and pepper. Add wet mix into the dry mix and combine until a dough is formed. Dough should be moist, easy to handle, but not too wet. If necessary, add a tablespoon of vital wheat gluten until dough feels right. Knead dough for several minutes then allow to rest for 10 minutes. If you have a stand mixer with a dough hook, let that thing do the work. Once dough has rested, form into loaf-ish shape and wrap tightly in foil "tootsie roll" style. Put your foil wrapped dough into a loaf pan filled half way with water. Place into oven and bake for 1 hour and 45 minutes. Check after an hour to see if you need to add any more water. After 1 hour and 45 minutes has passed, remove from foil, place into water and add a splash of tamari to the water. Baste the ham with liquid and bake for another 15-20 minutes until outside is lightly browned. Remove from oven and allow to cool a little before slicing.

Tips:

This stuff makes awesome Lunchables! Remember those super salty, highly processed & nitrate-filled meat, cheese and cracker snacks? Try a thin slice of this ham on multi-grain flax crackers with a slice of vegan cheese or fresh, spreadable cashew cheese. HEAVEN ON A CRACKER!